You know the ones. The voices that tell us we “can’t” or “shouldn’t” try something new. Those naysayers in our head that leave us second guessing ourselves and damaging our self confidence.
The good news is…you’re not alone. We all hear them!
Now you’ll often hear me say that self confidence is an inside job. But when we’re also dealing with those negative voices inside our head, building that confidence can be challenging.
Those voices can seem relentless. The constant back and forth of whether we should or shouldn’t do something. We all have that internal dialogue going on – sometimes without even realizing it.
Michael Singer even wrote a book about it called The Untethered Soul. It’s about freeing yourself from the mental chatter that’s coming from that uninvited roommate in your head. The voice who talks you out of all those things you want to experience and try in life.
So, how do you deal with those internal voices? How do you let them go? This is a question my clients often ask.
The secret is knowing how to deal with those voices. It’s about being present and aware of them. Differentiating what’s real and what’s not. That’s what will help us shift those limiting internal beliefs.
But first, we need to understand what these voices are and where they come from.
These voices are memories, experiences, and belief systems that we’ve come to believe are true.
They often stem from comments that were repeated back to us over the years. Sometimes they’re beliefs that we may repeat to others in hopes of getting their acknowledgement, love, and acceptance.
The key is to recognize that those voices aren’t really yours. Ask yourself:
- Who does that voice belong to?
- When did I accept that voice?
- Why do I believe that voice?
Think back to when our mom, dad, partner, or boss told us we couldn’t do something. Or that we would never achieve what it is that we wanted. Unfortunately, we often accept that they’re probably right and succumb to the belief that it’s going to be too hard to do.
We need to change the pattern of WHAT we’re listening to and HOW we’re listening to it.
These internal conversations affect how our brain works. Those words that may seem like idle chatter in our heads are actually emitting vibrations and energy, creating a physiological reaction.
Every word we say – or thought we have, has an energy to it. Like a magnet, these words and thoughts connect to, and attract things, reinforcing those thoughts and beliefs.
Any negative thoughts and beliefs emit bad energy that increases the stress hormone, cortisol, which wreaks havoc on our body.
A helpful trick
When we hear those voices telling us what we can’t do – that we’re not smart enough – that we’re not experienced enough – we need to take a stand.
A helpful trick I use when I hear those nay-saying voices, is declaring “No! I’m not going to let this voice ruin my success” … target or whatever it is that I’m looking to achieve. Reminding myself that these voices are having a negative effect on my life and my body.
I intentionally shift my thinking and focus on the positives!
Think of all those beautiful memories. Everything we’ve ever created and accomplished – years, months and days ago. Then write them down – stack them into your memory bank!
As strange as it sounds, those voices – aka, our subconscious mind, wants to remind us of the bad memories to keep us safe. When we want to try new things, move forward, grow, and evolve, our subconscious is trying to convince us to continue doing what kept us safe yesterday… the day before… and so on. It becomes our comfort zone.
That’s why it’s important that we recognize those negative voices and memories, understanding who and where they came from – and why they speak up when we’re wanting to get out of our comfort zone. To move forward, grow and try new things.
We can then tap into our stack of beautiful memories and shift our belief system, empowering ourselves to go ahead and take chances! Try new things! Believing in ourselves and our incredible strengths and capabilities!
When we intentionally shift the narrative in our head from, this is who I believed I WAS – to this is who I KNOW I am, we will see, hear, and do amazing things!
Next time you hear that negative chatter in your head, remind yourself – you’re a good, beautiful person. An adventurer who can be, do, have, create, and change all that you desire. You’re a person who loves their life!
The choice is up to you!
Here’s to living a life you love that loves you back,
